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You can read posts and learn about Cathy's Voice and Cathy's Voice Now at:


www.cathysvoice.com

You can also read more from Cathy at OdysseyOnLine

https://www.theodysseyonline.com/@cathysvoicenow

You Learn To Dance With The Limp

Many of you asked the significance of the picture of the Cowardly Lion from the Wizard of Oz  as my profile picture on Facebook.  You  all know the Cowadrly Lion. The Cowardly Lion makes his first appearance in the book The Wonderful Wizard of Oz. He is the last of the companions  Dorothy befriends on her way to the Emerald City.  The Cowardly Lion joins her so that he can ask The Wizard for courage.  Despite outward evidence that he is unreasonably fearful, The Cowardly Lion displays great bravery along the way

A scene from the movie :

Cowardly Lion: [crying] You're right, I am a coward! I haven't any courage at all. I even scare myself.  [sobs]
Cowardly Lion: Look at the circles under my eyes. I haven't slept in weeks!
Tin Woodsman: Why don't you try counting sheep?
Cowardly Lion: That doesn't do any good, I'm afraid of 'em. [sobs loud]

Most of you are aware that three years ago my friend Jan died unexpectedly.  It was an overwhelming loss in my life.  I have been thinking about her a lot this week.  My therapist suggested that I do something to honor her as a celebration of her life instead of commemorating her death.  I have a couple of things in mind that I will do this week.  I also want to share a few things with you that made her such an amazing person and friend. 

So back to the Cowardly Lion.  After seeing Jan as my therapist for a couple of years, I had to move away.  I tried everything not leave Baltimore, but in the end I had no choice.  I stood in the door way at Jan’s house and cried as I was leaving.  She handed me a package that contained two books, a card, and a stuffed Gund Bear.  The bear was the Cowardly Lion.  She said that she had picked it because even though I was so afraid in this life, I had shown such courage along the way.  I didn’t need a Wizard to give me courage.  I just needed to look inside.

I still have that bear ( and a couple of other stuffed animals Jan gave me) in my bedroom and see it every morning when I am starting my day.  The card was a beautiful card that ended with her saying, “And remember that no matter where you go,  my voice and my love go with you.”  Over the next almost 20 years, Jan became  my mentor, my spiritual adviser, and most of all my trusted friend. 

Ann Lamott is my favorite author.  Her honesty and courage at writing about life touches me.  This is a quote that has meant a lot to me:

"You will lose someone you can’t live without,and your heart will be badly broken, and the bad news is that you never completely get over the loss of your beloved. But this is also the good news. They live forever in your broken heart that doesn’t seal back up. And you come through. It’s like having a broken leg that never heals perfectly—that still hurts when the weather gets cold, but you learn to dance with the limp."

—    Anne Lamott

I know that Jan would expect me and those that loved her to keep dancing.  It was also suggested to me that the best way I could honor Jan was to live my life cherishing her friendship and celebrating her life.  She taught me so much about life, trust, and friendship, that my life will never be the same.  She was right-I still hear her voice, remember her words, and feel her love.

I will end with this quote from Jan’s memorial service by The Very Rev. William S. Stafford, Ph.D., D.D.:

 Her powerful gift of healing, through which so many have grown in wholeness; her crystal-clear intellect and passionate heart; her life-long love affair with music; her friendships and relationships, in which she shared life with so many of us for so long: losing Jan, we all have much to grieve. Having known her, we all have so much for which to give God thanks.